these past few days had been the worst days of my life. i'm glad i went through it with people like my mother, diyana , fatin and his father supporting me at the same time. i didn't believe he would resort to these kind of things and it totally disappoints me. i was in deep sorrow for the past few days.

i tried to hide all the sadness and pain when i face him. i could just smile and make sure he's okay. in situation like this, i know he really needs me because his mother is outside country. i did what his father pleaded - support and take good care of him wherever he go. his father knew i'm the only person that he could rely on at that point of time.

he is not other but my boyfriend. i've been with him for 4 years. tell me, how could i be okay to see him in so much pain and burden? obviously, i'm feeling the same way he did because he is part of my life. i, as a girlfriend , needs to be there for him no matter how much he disappoints me. that doesn't stop me from loving him. in situation like this, i can't blame anyone. nobody is at fault. it was fated.

okaay. moving on. on saturday!! irashikin's bdaee. i was called at the last minute to work in the morning. finished at 5 and headed to pasir ris. i know he badly wanted to see me but i simply can't. i had no choice but at the same time, i was dying to see him. his father was like begging me to see him. but i cudn't think of my probs only. i need to settle things with my friends and at the same time, i can't afford to disappoint them. i was totally at the weakest point but it doesn't stop me. so i did all in once.

went to the pit and i got so lost. so reached there and i swear the pit was like 1km away. ok no. was so elated to see them once again. as usual, they labeled me as the puteri lilin. goshh. :)) so guys, im sorry if i had to leave early. ira sent me to the entrance. sooo lovely of her. met him and she too, sort of nagged at him. so, happy legally 18th dude. clubbing kepeee. ahaha.

so his father fetched me together with him and his bro. was sooo relieved to see him once again. we went to eat at swensen at t3. (the place was damn blardy nice i tell you. i was like a foreigner because i was so jakon. seriously!!)

so yeah in the end i managed to do all in once. i was there at the pit and i hope my presence is felt(i'm sorry i cudnt be there long enuff). lastly, i was there for him. i hope God gave me the strength to live my life this coming days. i couldn't do anything but pray for the best for him and his friend.

i will always love him.